Playing House

Last night we had some good friends over for dinner; Chrissy & Mike and Cindy & Mike. I’ve worked with Cindy and Chrissy for three years at Trat V. We have a great friendship. We don’t get together often, but when we do? It’s always a lot of laughs and a really fun time.

Last night, I made a roasted chicken with Breda’s homemade mashed potatoes and a side of mixed vegetables. I even whipped up a bit of chicken gravy and dinner biscuits.

Cindy and Mike brought their daughter Ryana. She is about four months old and completely adorable. It was the first time that we have had a baby visit us in our apartment. We were pretty excited about it. Of course, before she arrived, I cleaned like a maniac. I had Brian vacuum every crevice of the living room. She can’t even crawl but I had to be sure that my pseudo-niece was in a clean environment.

We spent the evening passing Ryana around. She was a little charmer. Every time we would get loud and laugh, she would raise her little voice in baby babble and try and join the conversation. It was a whole different experience. We were pouring wine, laughing and talking while enjoying this little girl.

It felt strange and amazing at the same time. It opened my eyes a bit. For the first time, I felt… old. I started to realize that this is the next chapter of our lives. We are now at that age where we are the adults. There is no one to tell us right from wrong. We are responsible for all of it. This isn’t just playing house anymore. This is real.

As I looked around the room at my friends, laughing, talking and drinking, I felt a strange sense of comfort and gratitude for whatever got me to that place. I loved having a crowd of people in my kitchen. They were sitting and enjoying the food I made. Everyone was yelling and talking over each other, telling tasteless jokes and laughing hysterically. Music was playing and the mood was just comfortable. It reminded me of holidays at home with my parents and my cousins, where love bounces around the table in the form of sarcasm and off colored comments.

I felt a sense of gravity towards the idea of family. I’m beginning to realize that I want that. There are days when I think I am too selfish or that I am unable to make that commitment. But then there are moments like last night when I think… I want a big long dinner table with lots of people around it. I want to feel that love of a family that was created out of the love that my husband and I have for each other. The bigger the better.