"I just want to see you again!"

I had dinner with Miss Stephanie Lane tonight. It's been a long time coming. She's moved two hours from me and I am at a loss without her close by. We used to spend at least two nights a week together getting blitzed on good wine and watching old episodes of Sex and the City.

Tonight Steph and I had one of our old time dinner dates. Just the two of us. We met at Piatto's Grille in Yorktown Heights. Things were a bit different tonight.

Here is an instant replay of our old dinner dates:

• Glass of wine with eager chit chat and lip gloss dabbing.
• Mumurs of, "How hot are these boots I bought?" mixed with "I have been dying for a glass of wine all day."
• Checking out all men around us and flirting with any handsome waiter or bartender.
• Second glass of wine- no let's make that a bottle. A bottle of red wine.
• Appetizers. The sinful kind.
• We talk like chatterboxes.... so loudly we irritate customers near us.
• Halfway through the bottle this turns into obnoxious and lewd talk... complete with f-bombs and sexually explicit descriptions of our love lives.
• Then more food. Most likely a creamy pasta of sorts. (You'd think we hadn't eaten in weeks.)
• A second bottle of wine? Sure!
• The drunken talk turns serious and hushed... nothing like slurring a serious conversation!
• Cigarettes outside.
• Dessert? Of course!
• And no night was complete without the predictable call to my husband Brian: Me: "Baby... you have to come and pick us up. We're shitfaced." Brian: "Morgan! It's Tuesday night!" Me: "I know. I'm sorry! And by the way, is there any place we can get a bottle of wine this late? Steph's sleeping over."

So, tonight had a slightly different pace. As you can see, I am home doing laundry... alone... at 10:34 pm on a Friday night after one- okay fine- two glasses of Chianti over dinner.

My girl Steph is pregnant.

Not even a little pregnant. Five months pregnant. When I heard the news originally, I did one of those expressions of joy mixed with shock. I was stunned and surprised and quite frankly... scared. Scared for all of the selfish reasons of course. What's going to happen to our friendship? How will this change everything? I was frightened and judgemental and ... a complete idiot.

Tonight, sitting across from Stephanie at the dinner table, I couldn't have loved her more. She looked so beautiful! So happy and calm. My friend was a new woman... with that motherly glow. It looked so perfect on her, I just don't remember her being any other way. Tonight we talked about the future and how much this baby is loved already. We talked about the hard times she is going through with this pregnancy. She is recently divorced, and is still dealing with the outcome of all of that. Luckily, the father of this baby is the love of her life. He is supportive and kind and loving... mostly he reminds me of Brian.

It's such a warm feeling to be able to be happy for your friend. For me, to be able to look at Stephanie and know that she is finally in a good place... it is such a peaceful feeling. I'm so excited that I get to be part of her new life. I can't wait to be part of this baby's life, either. (No word whether its a boy or a girl, but I am betting on a boy.)

It's hard to let go of the old memories that we've shared together... the wild, wreckless crazy ones. While I know that we might have another go at it one night in the future, I know that our friendship is about to take a sharp turn for the serious. I realized that I am at a point in my life where I have to be the one to stand up and say, "I'm right here. I'm not going anyplace and I am with you for the entire ride." I want to be her seatbelt. I want to try and keep her protected and make her feel secure. I have to let her know that I will always be there to hold her down when things get bumpy.

Tonight for our dessert we shared a Tiramisu. I had the waitstaff sing "Happy Birthday" to her since she will be turning twenty-six on Tuesday. She made a wish and looked at me across the table. "I just made a good one."

As I hugged and kissed my friend good-bye, I realized something. This is all going to be over someday. All of this. All the candlelight dinners, arguments, birthdays, new wallpaper, dirty dishes, weddings, hot cups of tea, pregnancies and clean sheets. It's all going to disappear one day. So, my new mantra is to soak it all up. I'm wiping the slate clean and letting go of it all... enjoying every single moment.

One baby at a time.