"I Knew You Would Get It."

Time has gotten away from me. I have been so freaking busy these past few weeks, I have no time to sit and write. I have been doing very important things. Like… reading, working, drinking too much and organizing spices.

Okay fine. I have been hiding from my blog.

Truth be told, I had a serious case of writer’s block to the point that I would sit in front of a blank page and just stare at it. I couldn’t find anything to say that sounded good enough. I really am my toughest critic in so many ways.

In the midst of my battle with the pen, I was faced with a big responsibility. My favorite cousin Keri (yes, I used the word favorite) asked me to write a reading for her wedding. She actually told me that she loved the way I write, and told me to go with my heart and write whatever I want.

Gulp.

Can I just preface this with saying she asked me to do the reading about ten months ago? So of course, in my typical, professional procrastinator fashion, I waited until 18 days before her nuptials to do the darned thing.

I sent it to her this morning as a draft with a warning that said, “Okay this needs a ton of editing / tweaking. It’s only the first draft.” I actually wrote in the subject of the email that it was “Take One.” I was so afraid to disappoint her. I didn’t want her to know that I was really just a pretend writer. I am just a chatterbox that likes to put words on paper.

Low and behold… here is the response I got:

“I am sitting here with goose bumps on my arms b/c it was so beautiful and so well written. I felt a true connection to your words, as I knew I would and that is why I asked you to do this for us. I knew you would get it.

I love you more than words. Thank you again for doing this and being such an important part of our day.”

I can’t even describe what a relief it was to read those words. Secretly, I knew that this was some of the best stuff I had for her.

I had so many doubts in myself! It is so nice to feel some validation and to know that even when I don’t feel like I am good enough, there is someone else out there that loves me and thinks my “good enough” is just fine the way it is.

I will share the reading once the wedding is over. In the meantime, I have to rehearse. I wonder if there is a way to mentally train my body not to produce hives all over my neck and chest when I am nervous? We shall see.