Charlotte Grace

My Mom and I had a pretty awesome weekend. She had Easter at her house and I was in her kitchen helping her cook. I learned some good recipes and got some good training for having a holiday of my own. I loved the smell of my Mom’s house. Fresh linens in the laundry room, aromas from her oven and her perfume. It made me feel happy and warm.

I love the look my Mother gives me when she first sees me walk in the door. It’s like she is seeing me for the first time. It’s the kind of love that I can feel all around me. I don’t have to be in Massachusetts to know that she’s with me. But there is nothing that compares to the embrace that a Mom can give to a daughter.

I was standing in my old bedroom, packing my things to leave. I was looking forward to getting back home to New York but at the same time I hated the feeling of leaving again. I was kind of fed up with the family drama that comes along with a holiday. We were ready to pack up and hit the road to the place that I call home.

We had slept in that morning. I turned my cell phone off while it charged on the night stand. When I turned on the phone, I saw I had a plethora of texts, one from one of my best friends, Stephanie, who was nine months pregnant: “We are on the way to the hospital. This is it.”

Nothing could have prepared me to get that text. This was not supposed to happen. She was due on the 26th. This was the 13th. We had dinner plans for Friday. Not to mention, I was in Massachusetts and she was in New York. I slowly freaked out in my head and realized that my girl… one of my favorite girls in the world… was having a major event of her life.

Instead of freaking out, popping a Xanax and having a hissy fit, I surprised myself. I took a deep breath, told my husband the deal, and started dialing numbers. Before I knew it, I heard her voice on the other end. She was calm and collected… until she wasn’t anymore. “I’m scared, B. And it hurts a lot.” I could hear the tears in her voice and it was all that I could do to not jump through the phone and hold her.

We raced home from New York that day. Since Stephanie lives about two hours away from me, she told me to stay home until the baby was here. I was a wreck all day waiting. She came at about 11:43pm that night. Charlotte Grace Gill. 7lbs, 11oz and 20 inches long.

I finally got to see Steph last night. It was so good to see my friend and know that she was safe. When I laid my eyes on my Goddaughter for the first time? It was love at first sight. She wasn’t even twenty four hours old and I got to hold her in my arms and whisper sweet nothings into her little ears.

As I watched my friend with her new daughter, I found myself seeing her in an entirely different light. She spoke softly to Charlotte and held her tight. I began to see Stephanie as a Mother. I recognized the way she looked at her. She gazed at her with the wonder of seeing her for the first time, like she had only a few hours before. “I can’t believe that this is my little girl.” I could feel that love all around me. And that felt like home.